Shippin' Fools

Disclaimer: This post is purely in good fun. Anyone should realize that there are a million and one reasons why someone would ship one couple or another, and merely favoring a particular couple has no direct link to any aspect of anyone's personality or their life-experience. Also the "Shippin' Fools" title is just a pun, I'm a shipper m'self.

Truth be known, I never gave a thought to iCarly couples until very recently. It's funny because I look back on the big "shipping" scenes like the ones that "prove" one character likes another. And now I realize how obvious these scenes are, but before I was just totally oblivious, like "duurr... they're just friends." But I guess being oblivious to things is one my objectives in life, so...

Here's what I think about the different (main) couples, or rather... what I think each of these couples MEANS, man. It's deep n stuff.

Carly & Freddie ("Creddie")

People who ship Carly & Freddie are traditionalists in a certain sense. Romantics at heart. They believe that unrequited love can become requited, and that pining for someone over the course of years (in classic Gatsby fashion) is endearing rather than depressing, demeaning, or unhealthy. They're probably people who either have someone they themselves hopelessly pine for (like Freddie), or they dream of having someone hopelessly pine for them, because they're worth it, damn it! (which is, I'm sure, how Carly feels.)

Sam & Freddie ("Seddie")

People who ship Sam & Freddie believe that passion and fire are more important in a relationship than petty little things like being nice or civil to each other. They see through the tumultuous facade and understand that Sam's cruelty is her way of crying out for love and appreciation (potentially). They're quite possibly people who are simultaneously too proud and too shy to let their true feelings out.

Carly & Sam ("Cam")

Camfans value closeness and synergy in a relationship. They see Sam and Carly's close-knit friendship as the ideal building-block to a strong romance. They're idyllic to a fault, falling for the classic concept that best friends make the best couples. They're quite possibly in love with their best friend, or emotionally stunted enough to seek comfort from what's close and familiar rather than venturing out into the wide world of possible romances.

Sam & Gibby ("Sibby")

People who favor the Sam & Gibby pairing are total individualists. They see that Sam and Gibby are both social misfits in their own way. A Sibbster is decisive. They don't bother with complex love triangles, they find love where they can.

Melanie & Freddie ("Meddie")

Meddie shippers are a fickle and illustrious bunch. They're willing to think outside the box, but they prefer things on the safe side. Melanie already likes Freddie, unambiguously. These shippers might be people who like things to be a little special and unique, but not off-putting or adventurous.

I'm a Cam shipper myself. I mean, it's a no brainer, as they're my favorite characters. And aside from their obvious chemistry, they're just the best for each other. They need each other because their divergent personalities balance each other out, without the vicious turmoil you get between Sam & Freddie. However, as I watch the show more, Seddie starts to seem like a pretty good option, they could be very good with each other. Nothing matches Cam, but Seddie & Meddie are definitely decent. Even Creddie's not bad. And ideologically I appreciate Sibby a lot.

My Life in Music: 2010

Disclaimer: this post concerns music I listened to and discovered in 2010, not new releases in 2010. That being said, there are like 5 or 6 new releases represented here.

2010 was one of the most incredible years for music listening that I have ever had. It viciously dwarfs all my musical advancements in '09 and '08, and quite possibly gives classic formative years like 2002, 2005, and 2007 a run for their money. The unprecedented quantity, quality and variety, as well as the gusto with which I was fortunate enough to greet them, truly staggers me. And so I figured a full-blown assessment of this year's haul was in order. First, the awards.

THE ZENNIES

2010 MVP: Neil Young

If you had asked me in November 2009, whether Neil Young would ever rank as one of my favorite artists again, I would have told you "probably not." That was before my shopaholism landed me a copy of the Everybody Knows This is Nowhere remaster, which set into motion a vast chain reaction which has resulted in a new and greater reign of influence for Neil. In fact, the extent to which I liked Neil in the past is a mere footstep compared to the heights he has attained in 2010. With his chameloen powers, he was able to shadow me all along the way, with grim sobriety in winter, alterna-rock fury in my 90s phase, and sentimental pop mentalities in the latter quarters. Since Neil was my favorite artist in 2003... does that make him, like, my double favorite artist in 2010? How can you be better than the best?

2010 Most Promising New Addition: Paramore

I had to make a really tough decision here... Paramore versus Miranda Cosgrove. Make no mistake, in 2010 I unquestionably enjoyed Miranda Cosgrove more. Furthermore, she means a lot more to me, and represents a brand new style (electronic pop) unique to my discography. It's truly up in the air whether Miranda or Paramore will fare better in the coming years. But "most promising" means, to me, future longevity. And so I had to look at my history. Who are the artists who stay strong over years, and who are the ones who fade away? Well, there's no hiding it. Rock music tends to reign supreme. So I had to guess that Paramore would go further. But, frankly, I'm rooting for Miranda Cosgrove. That's not to sell Paramore short, though, their power-pop glory is infectiously empowering to the extent that I can only listen to them in incraments... otherwise I would die of heat exhaustion from rocking out too hard. True story.

2010 Most Important Record: Immaculate Pop Volume One

I never could have predicted the snowball effect this humble little disc would have. I just started to have a nostalgic or bittersweet reaction to some of the things I was being forced to listen to at work, and decided to burn a compilation. What resulted was a truly idyllic little period in the dead of winter where I would alternate between my grim black metal collection and this bubblegum compilation. For a long time, I figured this would be the only pop music I ever listened to seriously. It'd be half a year later until I started getting into pop music as a whole, but Immaculate Pop unquestionably helped transform my perception of pop music to the point where I was able to fully appreciate it.

Now onto the real content. It would be crazy to detail the vast number of amazing bands, amazing albums, and amazing songs I was pleased to enjoy this year. So what I did was compose a terse boxed set which compiles both the individual tracks which really moved my soul, as well as tracks to represent the unbelievable multitude of whole bands and albums that blew my mind this year. Mind you this doesn't represent everything... just the biggest, most major events of this year.

A second effect of this compilation is that it details my life over the course of 2010 down to near-perfection. I started out the year with somber, sober precision, gleaming joy from the tranquility of blizzards and using my sober boredom as an excuse to become one-and-the-same with dense, intricate, powerful music. Then my life became lysergic for a time, and I submerged myself wholly in bittersweet fantasy, living halfway between the real world and some 1990s dream. Following that, stone cold precision became my forte once again, and natural mania overtook all my endeavors. My taste veered to the bombastic and the upfront; to simplicity and pop hooks of impenetrable force.

My Life in 2010 (Boxed Set)

Disc 1
Stone Cold: Winter of Sobering Gloom

1. Jesu Dod -- Burzum
2. My Journey to the Stars -- Burzum
3. Southern Man (Remastered) -- Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4. Sverddans -- Burzum
5. Hand In My Pocket -- Alanis Morissette
6. What's Been Going On -- Amos Lee
7. Love Story -- Taylor Swift
8. What's Up -- 4 Non Blondes
9. Son of Hades -- Aura Noir
10. Il etait une foret... -- Gris

Disc 2
Wistful Revery: Lucid 90s Adult Kitsch

1. Prime of Life -- Neil Young & Crazy Horse
2. Loose Change -- Neil Young & Crazy Horse
3. Pocahontas [YotH] -- Neil Young & Crazy Horse
4. Love And Only Love [Weld] -- Neil Young & Crazy Horse
5. Questioning My Sanity -- L7
6. Rockets -- Cat Power
7. Supernatural Radio -- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
8. Good Enough -- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
9. London Song -- The Breeders
10. Fate to Fatal -- The Breeders
11. Bukarest -- HotChaCha

Disc 3
Manic Euphoria: For The Love of Pop

1. Walls (Circus) -- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
2. My Favorite Mistake -- Sheryl Crow
3. Because The Night -- Patti Smith
4. That's What You Get -- Paramore
5. Headphones On -- Miranda Cosgrove
6. Hide & Seek -- Ani DiFranco
7. Misery Business -- Paramore
8. Bam -- Miranda Cosgrove
9. Better Than Revenge -- Taylor Swift
10. Party Girl -- Miranda Cosgrove
11. Let the Flames Begin (The Final Riot!) -- Paramore
12. Thrasher -- Juniper Tar

The Good Wife (And What Your TV Says About You Behind Your Back)

Warning: If anyone out there is a diehard follower of The Good Wife, and you haven't watched the 7th episode of season 2 yet, the following blog entry contains very minor spoilers.

The Good Wife

A couple months ago or thereabout, Miranda Cosgrove appeared in an episode of the CBS drama series The Good Wife. I never bothered to watch it because, I guess, I feared it would be more of a cameo appearance or a token role. As it turns out, she plays a significant role.

I ended up checking out the episode after discovering that I had abysmally failed to watch Christmas In Washington, an annual concert event which this year featured Miranda Cosgrove performing "Last Christmas," a beautiful song having previously been covered immaculately by Taylor Swift.

Hating myself, I scoured Youtube for video, but there was none available. Still jonesing for a MiranCoz fix that my personality (what you sometimes call a "soul") was now expecting to receive, I decided to check out the aforementioned Good Wife episode. I had never watched The Good Wife before, but I'm familiar with its ilk. It's a by the numbers court room/political drama, and while as of late my taste has been for its polar opposite, I've been fond of this genre at times. So I was really excited to watch this episode.

I don't believe there exists any genre of television more archetypally adult than the courtroom drama... except for the courtroom drama which (inexplicably?) carries a parallel story about a politician's troubled bid for election amidst a corrupt system AND a parallel story about high-ranking suits embroiled in high-stakes office politics, none of which seem to intersect with each other or influence each other (I'm sure it would make perfect sense if I was familiar with this show).

Perpetually straight-faced, as melancholic as film noir, driven not by action but by words, and rife with grim moral dilemmas that are meant to define the psychological squalor of the modern age, The Good Wife (and the rest of its ilk) are everything that consequential adults are supposed to appreciate. At least in my perspective. Some might opt for the more critically acclaimed fare of The Sopranos and Breaking Bad, two of my favorite shows, but they include copious amounts of crime kitsch, which appeals to rebellious youths. Court room dramas are about truth, justice, the American way, and various moral dilemmas therein. In any case, it's a marked contrast from what Miranda Cosgrove had been involved in thusfar.

Miranda Cosgrove plays what is essentially a fictionalized amalgam of Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan. She's a Disney recording star named Sloan who gets an underaged DUI which ends up turning into an attempted murder case. Sloan is notorious for a past lap dance scandal straight out of Miley's reality, and she is depicted undermining the honor of the court, reminiscent of Lohan's recent indiscretions. I found this re-appropriation of realities hard to swallow at first... I mean... talk about weird. Let's hire Miranda Cosgrove to portray... of all people... Disney's ill-mannered ragamuffins? I like Cyrus AND Lohan, but talk about a heady concept. Takes it a smidgen further than Freaky Friday!

In any case, once MiranCoz took control of the role, my identity crisis on her behalf subsided. I was impressed with her performance, though seeing as how I was expecting it to be good, I can't say I was blown away or anything. She definitely did a spot-on job filling the role of 'grim stoic entity' that everyone in a courtroom drama necessarily has to acquire, quite a far cry from the flighty flirty flamboyance of Carly Shay or the snarky cynical self-assurance of Megan Parker and Summer Hathaway.

I wouldn't necessarily say she removed herself from herself as much as Victoria Justice sometimes seems to, but she certainly far surpasses Katie Holmes' lone ability to act exactly like Joey Potter in every role she has ever performed (which, granted, isn't a bad character to play). What I can say is that I would definitely watch this show regularly if Miranda Cosgrove was a regular, and more improtantly I would be very, very interested in viewing other programs where Miranda performed similar roles.

She's proven her acting chops and I absolute can. not. wait. to see her appear on all kinds of other programs. And frankly, I enjoyed the juxtaposition provided by this most adult of genres. I'd like to see her do more of the same style, perhaps appear on The West Wing or something. Does The West Wing still make new episodes?

Miranda definitely seemed a lot older here, as well. Almost reminds me of the end of her run on Drake & Josh, when she had obviously out-grown her role as cute little (albeit evil) Megan Parker, and was ready to do iCarly. Of course, this could just mean that it's time for iCarly to enter a new phase. I wouldn't mind seeing iCarly: The College Years. ;)

And What Your TV Says About You Behind Your Back

ANYWAY... If I were trying to be all philysophical and chiz, I would say something like.... My feelings are summed up by this one scene early in the episode. The big bad lawyer people are discussing the case in the kitchen and the one lawyer's two young daughters come walking into the room laughing, and then they see the intense adult scene going on in the room, and they say "Oh, sorry," and walk away.

Court room dramas are fascinating stuff. The twists and turns are sure to always keep you guessing and it can be really satisfying to finally get to the bottom of the story at the end of the episode, when all the pieces fall into place. But in all in all, I think I'd rather watch Gibby burst out of a giant cherry pie like an alien chestburster while Jennette McCurdy poses like a grimlord. Man, I've spent years in the bleak fog of "adulthood" (whether genuine or wholly imagined), and there's something to be said for... wait for it... the zenlike immaturity of a youth. If given the option, I'd rather laugh than stare.

Of course, anyone who isn't an idiot will realize that these two states of being (colloquially "adulthood" and "youth,") are anything but mutually exclusive. And anyone who isn't an idiot and a half will realize that it's perfectly possible for a man to enjoy both children's sitcoms and courtroom dramas. I wonder which one Miranda Cosgrove prefers...

Top 15 Twitpics

Twitpics are fun. They're full of peculiar little personality slivers, especially coupled with the often idiosyncratic comments that accompany them. And they look nice. In honor of these facts, I've painstakingly compiled the greatest twitpics (out of many contenders). For variety's sake, I've omitted photos I've already posted on here (including the stunningly supreme picture of Victoria Justice hugging a mannequin, which you see to the right).

And trust me, it was hard narrowing it down to 15. There are so many good ones. I wanted to do a top 30. But that would be unwieldy.

Runner-up:

 

^^ "This is the face I made when I found out it takes 6 months to get your driver's license." 

#15 

^^ The band. I can't wait to meet her in person!!

#14

^^ Almost classical. Clearly Victoria is the one who should be in the portrait, not whoever that other girl is.

#13

 

^^ I like to imagine that crusing in a DeLorean, with a Hover Board, is just an average night for Jennette McCurdy. 

#12

 

^^ I like this 'cause she's in the car cruisin' and hanging out some random night and she doesn't provide any explanation other than "<3" Like... what does she love, herself? The car? The American Night? <3

#11 

  

^^ Heh, love the meta. And it was cool how excited she was to have found this poster. 

#10 

 

^^ awww.... I love fried chicken. Big iCarly fans here. I wanna be that cool.

#9 

  

 ^^ (from MiranCoz) "Walking in the mountains in the dark and noticed this sign..." So not only does she notice aliens, but she likes walking in the mountains in the dark! *swoon* 

#8

 

^^ I love when MiranCoz tweets about her education. It fascinates me, kinda autonomous too don't you think? She almost looks like Jackie Burkhart here, if you ask me. 

#7

 

^^ from Victoria Justice: "About to do our run through of this weeks episode! Dora's excited..." The most endearingly, adorably, quirky and crazy-as-hell thing I've ever read. 

#6 

  

^^ Being famous, young, and beautiful will get you absolutely ANYWHERE. True story. 

#5 

^^ She is simply the BEST at facial expressions, period. So emotive! Apparently this strawberry is bittersweet like the last day of summer, and arriving upon this revelation disgusts her a little bit. 

#4 

^^ This is just so cool. She looks like Vicious from Cowboy Bebop. Also, she admittedly doesn't remember the circumstances of this picture coming into being.

#3 

 

^^ This pic makes me feel close to Miranda Cosgrove. Like, literally. 

#2 

^^ Victoria Justice. One of the cutest pictures I've ever seen of anybody. I think of this picture whenever I hear Neil Young's song "Natural Beauty."

#1

 

 ^^ Jennette goes shopping... finds herself face to face with herself. So meta! Ahaha. And I honestly can't even conceive of how darling Jennette looks here. I mean, what the? I can't even handle it. I kind of want to pat her on the head 

More Barn!

My taste for Neil Young music having not been fully satiated by his forty-plus piece discography, I've actually taken to searching CDBaby.com for surrogates. There I found a notably decent Neil tribute called More Barn. I'd love to link you to it, but it has mysteriously disappeared from CDBaby at some point since I purchased it. This is particularly strange as CDBaby usually keeps an album's page up even if all the copies are sold out...

I'm no connoisseur of Neil tributes, but More Barn sure beats the tar out of the mostly lackluster "The Bridge" alt-rock album which boasts such classic acts as Pixies, Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr. The Bridge gives me the feeling that these artists don't give Neil the due he deserves, because they're stuck doing abysmally mediocre renditions of his biggest hits, when a learned alt-rocker would have found much that is worthy of reinvention in the catalog of Don Grungio. Can you imagine a face-tearing Pixies rendition of "Pressure" from Landing on Water, or a liquidly lucid Dinosaur Jr. runthrough of Journey Through the Past? I sure can, but apparently Pixies and Dinosaur Jr. can't.

More Barn doesn't make this mistake. It treats you to songs that are actually interesting to hear, such as, Revolution Blues, Bandit, Running Dry, For the Turnstiles, Sleeps With Angels, Cocaine Eyes and Through My Sails. Overall the renditions are very good. I love the languid, female vocal'd versions of Star of Bethlehem and Needle and the Damage Done, and the electrifying versions of Safeway Cart and Music Arcade. Overall it's a really good and entertaining CD.

My favorite piece by far is a pinched, melancholic version of Thrasher, done by a band called Juniper Tar. It gives me the indelible impression of having been born for one of those drippingly moody, near-slow-motion, oppressively meaningful sex scenes you find in intellectual movies. Just like the one in Watchmen featuring Leonard Cohen's classic Hallelujah.