Jurassic World: Review

The following review does NOT contain SPOILERS. It is, however, quite cynical. So be warned that if you've yet to see the film, my toxic view could potentially poison you against its merits.

Let's start with what this film is not. If you're hoping for a smart, grounded science-fiction thriller like the original Jurassic Park from 1993, temper your expectations quite severely. Jurassic Park was astounding in part because it's one of the more realistic science fiction films in the collective canon and it has a broader point to make about technology and progress, as most good sci-fi does. Like Gattaca or District 9 it deviates from our real world only when necessary and only by extrapolating what's genuinely possible given existing technology and modern mores. Jurassic World... doesn't do that. It's more in line with Jurassic Park's two previous sequels, where the dinosaurs are mere movie monsters and the chase is the whole of the point, there's no broader issue here.

The cloning of dinosaurs isn't technically plausible due to the half-life of DNA, but there are already companies who are, today, this very moment actively pursuing the creation of dinosaur-like creatures through DNA manipulation. Hey, that kind of sounds like the gene-splicing plot of Jurassic World! But, alas, they don't really run with the premise, and it's left strictly up to the audience to connect those dots if they want any potential food for thought. Well... to be honest, there are a couple of good ideas. It's just that their impact is mired by the cheesiness that surrounds them.




Secondly, if you're hoping to gawk intently for a couple of hours at world-class special effects which wondrously bring to life creatures that exist mainly in our dreams and nightmares, like the groundbreaking work done for the original Jurassic Park, you're going to want to rent Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, because you won't get that from Jurassic World. I don't even begin to comprehend how a massive blockbuster like this can get off the cutting room floor with such unrealistic looking CGI. Wasn't someone in charge, wasn't there someone to answer to? But whatever the reason, don't expect to watch Jurassic World and think it looks real. The animals don't.

The saddest part on the FX front was the T-Rex, which supposedly (though unconfirmed) is the original Rex from Jurassic Park. To see him look so shoddy after he looked so real in the original was depressing. The explosions, though, are pretty awesome. The explosion budget must have been significantly higher than the dinosaur budget.

Also, no dilophosaurus. So minus 3,000 points.

So that covers what the film isn't. What the film is, on the other hand, is one heck of a decent action movie, with some well-placed nostalgia fodder and some surprisingly lovable characters. Sure, the dialogue by and large is atrocious. But I found Claire to be both cool and endearing, and it's truly great to finally have a woman take what is probably the lead role in a JP film. And Lowerry, the sardonic operator wearing his taboo Jurassic Park shirt on the day that shit happens to hit the fan at Jurassic World, from his very first moment he establishes himself as the audience's surrogate -- he's the guy saying what we're thinking. And that's clever, that's meta. His mere presence raised the film up a peg or two, by putting it a little closer to the film it clearly should have been.

And what do I mean by that? Jurassic World suffers from a clear conflict of goal, a split-personality. Does it want to be a serious Jurassic Park film, or does it want to be an ingenious satire ala The Cabin in the Woods? The film could go either way: there are genuinely great scenes in a serious Jurassic Park vein, and there are genuinely great scenes in a satirical way. And then there are a lot of scenes that are terrible if you're taking them seriously, but great if you're taking them as self-aware or tongue-in-cheek.

On the serious side, we get to see what a fully-functioning park would look like, and it's a pretty impressive sight. I enjoyed the early portion of the film detailing the technical aspects of day to day park operation, and Claire's involvement in the management thereof, as much as anything else in the film. You also have a couple really scary dinosaur moments that would work great in a proper Jurassic Park sequel. Dr. Henry Wu explains himself pretty well when detailing the creation of the I-Rex and there's a lot of legitimately interesting content for a sequel to explore. They did a good job of setting up a world for Jurassic World, something you don't see much of in the last two Jurassic Park movies. One thing I definitely have to say for the film is that it leaves me excited for a sequel, because the ideas they had on the backburner for this one are the ideas that are actually interesting!

On the tongue-in-cheek side, you have plenty of the most ridiculous scenes in any Jurassic Park film -- and yes, that includes defeating raptors with gymnastics from The Lost World, and the talking raptor from Jurassic Park III. I won't spoil any of JW's scenes here but there are several times when any conscious person is bound to roll their eyes. But what's so intriguing about that stuff is that there were also some highly notable trope-subversions here, some really well-done ones. Almost as if they understood what they were doing. Which points even more strongly to the possibility of Jurassic World being a tongue-in-cheek masterpiece. With a lot more self-awareness, the cheesy scenes would cease to be merely cheesy and they would rise up to the level of fuckin' awesome mayhem, knowingly executed to action trope perfection just like the gratuitous bloodshed bonanza you get from any Quentin Tarantino or Robert Rodriguez film. And there's definitely a strain of that running through this film. It's just, sadly, not allowed to come to the forefront, so you leave the movie wondering whether it was supposed to be stupid on purpose or not.

Final prognosis: You're going to need to see this movie in a theater that serves alcohol. Because the dumber you are, and the drunker you are, the more in love with this film you'll be. And I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way. Jurassic World is fucking awesome. It's full of bad one-liners and likable characters and, heck, there's a brilliant film hidden in there. Just be sure you go into it the right way, and with the right accoutrements. Get drunk. Maybe get stoned. Go into this film like you would Machete 3: Dinosaur Island. And you won't be disappointed. But go into this film expecting it to be the worthy successor we've been hoping for since 1993, and you'll be scratching your head.

Honestly, as a Jurassic Park sequel, it's not bad. It's about on par with the other two sequels, probably better than The Lost World. It's just, after such a long wait, and after Colin Trevorrow's passionate resolve to return to the majesty of the original, we were expecting something on a higher tier. Instead we got something very comparable to the other sequels, and not at all like the original classic.