Sunday, November 4, 2012
Fun Size
I didn't expect this to be a great movie. I figured it was just a fun chance to throw Victoria Justice some support and see her on the big screen, unfortunately it may be our only chance. To my gleeful surprise, it was a really good movie. It was less a kids movie than it was a zany teen comedy, full of naughty jokes and snarky humor, much more mature than I was expecting and I loved it for that.
Fun Size isn't a groundbreaking classic like Mean Girls or The Breakfast Club. But it is a solid, very funny and very watchable film, with an exciting story and some decent drama to boot. I enjoyed the Halloween setting (although they could have milked it more), and I love how almost every character's individual story sort of criss-crossed at the party. In that aspect it almost felt like a teen comedy version of Trick 'r Treat.
The fact that one of the main characters has two moms (i.e. gaaaaaay) who are featured prominently is reason enough alone for me to like this film. The fact that one of the boys raises his hand when the hot popular guy asks who wants to kiss him was icing on the cake.
This story was full of "adult children" so it was perfect for me. It almost seemed like there might be a deeper theme here, about growing up, although I couldn't really find an appropriate angle to equate Vic's crazy teenage adventure with the coming of age story all the adult characters went through (other than maybe her realization about what constitutes real romance). The mom's obsession with staying young was just depressing, but the convenience store clerk who had no friends was awesome. When he finds out that the hip girls at the party had been hanging out with Albert too, he delivers one of the films best lines: "See, it's not like I hang out with lame eight-year-olds!"
Victoria was, of course, very good. It was also a nice surprise to see Jane Levy (of ABC's Suburgatory) with such a key role. While Suburgatory isn't as good as MTV's Awkward, it's about as good as the 'network' sitcoms can get these days, and Levy's charisma is the show's best asset. She plays an obliteratingly different character in Fun Size, and thus gets a chance to prove her chops.
I had heard nothing but bad things about Fun Size. But I think the negative reception results from a cocktail of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with the actual film. Firstly, the film was promoted wrongly. It was billed as a kids film when the humor of the film is about 90% adult. Unambiguously raunchy jokes, deadpan sarcasm, self-deprecation and even a little politics makes up the majority of the film's jokes. This movie is more akin to Dude Where's My Car or Super Bad than it is to Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer. But there's also that 1/10th that consists of fart jokes and physical gags. And that's the second reason Fun Size had the cards stacked against it, the filmmakers don't seem quite sure whether they want this film to be Super Bad or Judy Moody. It could have been a great film by skewing in either direction, more family-friendly or as a "hard" PG-13. But instead they tow the middle line and as such the film has had a very hard time finding the right audience.
The final reason, live action children's movies are rarely ever given the fanfare they rightly deserve, while equally generic animated films get 100% ratings on Rotten Tomatoes and are called universal, ageless, brilliant... I suspect the culprit here is that adults intuitively connect childhood with fantasy, so personified inanimate objects and pixelized characters effortlessly hit home, while anything depicting a flesh-and-blood vision of youth is seen as inherently juvenile. It's ironic, because animation's target audience skews younger, which means that live action kids films are often allowed to delve into deeper issues than their animated counterparts. Mind you, there are animated kids films which are indeed staggeringly brilliant. But there are, too, live action kids films which are equally brilliant, and half as praised. Fun Size is *not* one of those films, it's not brilliant, it's merely good. But suffice to say that if this were an animated film I assure you it would garner better critical reviews from the adults upstairs.
Labels:
Fun Size,
Halloween movies,
kids movies,
Nickelodeon,
Nickelodeon Movies,
Victoria Justice,
Victorious
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Ultimate Halloween Night Marathon
I spent two months preparing my Halloween marathons for optimum fun. My intention was for the "Samhain Feast" at the end of the month to compile literally the best 7 films I'll watch all season. But for me to complete that task without error, I would have had to travel through time and sift out the hidden gems. Sometimes the greatest films are the ones you expect to be terrible, the ones you only barely convinced yourself to watch....
So after watching 42 films and countless TV episodes... here is, time travel allowed, the absolute perfect Halloween marathon I should have had this year.
6pm: Scream 4
7.55: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
9.50: Fear Itself "New Year's Day"
10.35: Wilderness Survival for Girls
12.00: Trick 'r Treat
1.30: The Walking Dead "Vatos"
2.20: The House of the Devil
3.50: Atrocious
5.15: The Cabin in the Woods
6.45: American Horror Story "Halloween, Part Two"
So after watching 42 films and countless TV episodes... here is, time travel allowed, the absolute perfect Halloween marathon I should have had this year.
6pm: Scream 4
7.55: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
9.50: Fear Itself "New Year's Day"
10.35: Wilderness Survival for Girls
12.00: Trick 'r Treat
1.30: The Walking Dead "Vatos"
2.20: The House of the Devil
3.50: Atrocious
5.15: The Cabin in the Woods
6.45: American Horror Story "Halloween, Part Two"
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Perfect Halloween Theme Marathons!
If you know me, you know I love to program TV. If you're a crazy fan like me, you can see all 750 hours of October programming here at 31 Days of Halloween. But the best of the best are the 10 days preceding Halloween, when I break out theme marathons for all the essential Halloween fixins of terror.
The theme starts off at 4am with a day-long marathon of the finest TV: two excellent films and two five hour marathons, one of chilling real life documentaries and the other of dazzling drama TV shows. At 6pm the main course is served, ten hours of the absolute mightiest, greatest, most perfect 5 films the theme has to offer:
6pm: an all-time classic
8: a modern classic
10: a fan-favorite
12: a found footage classic
2: an underrated gem (also found footage save in cases where there simply aren't a lot of found footage options to choose from)
In general, movies are only shown once over the course of the month, but the finest films are shown twice (at relatively opposite ends of the month). The sole exception is Trick 'r Treat which is, being the ultimate Halloween film, shown several times. Then on Samhain itself a bunch of in-theaters and recently released films are debuted. Halloween programming ends at sunrise on November 1st, because sunrise is what drives the demons back into the netherworld for another year.
Movies are coded in RED.
Documentary programs & series are coded in GREEN.
Fictional (drama, comedy) television series are coded in BLUE.
6pm: an all-time classic
8: a modern classic
10: a fan-favorite
12: a found footage classic
2: an underrated gem (also found footage save in cases where there simply aren't a lot of found footage options to choose from)
In general, movies are only shown once over the course of the month, but the finest films are shown twice (at relatively opposite ends of the month). The sole exception is Trick 'r Treat which is, being the ultimate Halloween film, shown several times. Then on Samhain itself a bunch of in-theaters and recently released films are debuted. Halloween programming ends at sunrise on November 1st, because sunrise is what drives the demons back into the netherworld for another year.
Movies are coded in RED.
Documentary programs & series are coded in GREEN.
Fictional (drama, comedy) television series are coded in BLUE.
Alien Night
(Saturday, October 20th 2012)
4am: Fire in the Sky
6: Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files
7: Alien Files [Canada]
8: Ancient Aliens
9: Ancient Aliens
10: Sightings
10.30: Sightings
11: Fourth Kind
1: Falling Skies
2: Falling Skies
3: The X-Files
4: The X-Files
5: The X-Files
6: Alien
8: Monsters (2010)
10: Altered
12: Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County
2: The Wicksborro Incident
-------------
Possession Night
(Sunday, October 21st 2012)
4am: The Exorcism of Emily Rose
6: Exorcism: Driving Out the Devil
7: Is it Real? s1e9 "Exorcism"
8: A Haunting s1e8 "The Diabolical"
9: A Haunting s3e24 "The Possessed"
10: A Haunting s4e9 "Ghost Hunter"
11: Fallen
1: Apparitions
2: Apparitions
3: Apparitions
4: The Secret Circle s1e4 "Heather"
5: The Secret Circle s1e5 "Slither"
6: The Exorcist
8: Requiem
10: Exorcismus
12: [REC] 2
2: The Last Exorcism
--------------
Witch Night
(Monday, October 22nd 2012)
4am: Hocus Pocus
6: Witchcraft: Myths & Legends [National Geographic]
7: Salem Witch Trials [History Channel]
8: Witchcraft: The Magick Rituals of the Coven
9: Secret Circles Hidden Prayers
10: Curse of the Blair Witch
11: Witches of Eastwick
1: Charmed
2: Charmed
3: The Secret Circle
4: The Secret Circle
5: Eastwick (2009)
6: The Wicker Man
8: The Craft
10: Suspiria
12: The Blair Witch Project
2: Paranormal Activity 3
---------------
Campfire Night (Anthology Night)
(Tuesday, October 23rd 2012)
4am: Nightmares
6: Urban Legends
6.30: Urban Legends
7: Urban Legends
7.30: Urban Legends
8: Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction
9: Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction
10: Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction
11: From a Whisper to a Scream (The Offspring)
1: Tales from the Crypt
1.30: Tales from the Crypt
2: Tales from the Crypt
2.30: Tales from the Crypt
3: Are You Afraid of the Dark?
3.30: Are You Afraid of the Dark?
4: Goosebumps
4.30: RL Stine's The Haunting Hour
5: Masters of Horror
6: Masters of Horror
6: Tales from the Crypt
8: Trick 'r Treat
10: Campfire Tales
12: V/H/S
2: Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror
--------------------------
Vampire Night
(Wednesday, October 24th 2012)
4am: Fright Night
6: Lost Tapes s2e1 "Vampire"
6.30: Lost Tapes s3e3 "Strigoi Vampire"
7: Diary of a Vampire: The Legacy of Bram Stoker
8: Vampire Secrets
9: Real Vampires... Exposed!
10: MonsterQuest s2e10 "Vampires in America"
11: The Lost Boys
1: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2: The Vampire Diaries
3: True Blood
4: True Blood
5: True Blood
6: Bram Stoker's Dracula
8: Let the Right One In
10: Interview With the Vampire
12: Vampires (2010)
2: 50 Days of Night
-----------------------------
Creature Night
(Thursday, October 25th 2012)
4am: Jeepers Creepers
6: Destination Truth
7: Animal X
7.30: Animal X
8: Sasquatch: When Legend Meets Science
9: MonsterQuest
10: MonsterQuest
11: Feast
2: Grimm
3: Grimm
4: Lost Tapes
4.30: Lost Tapes
5: Lost Tapes
5.30: Lost Tapes
6: Carnosaur
8: The Descent
10: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
12: Trollhunter
2: Cloverfield
------------------------
Killer Night
(Friday, October 26th 2012)
4am: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
6: The First 48
7: Snapped
8: Snapped
9: American Justice
10: American Justice
11: Wilderness Survival for Girls
1: Pretty Little Liars
2: Dexter
3: Dexter
4: Dexter
5: Dexter
6: Scream
8: American Psycho
10: Penny Dreadful
12: Alone With Her
2: Man Bites Dog
-------------
Ghost Night
(Saturday, October 27th 2012)
4am: Atrocious
6: Most Haunted
7: Most Haunted
8: A Haunting
9: A Haunting
10: A Haunting
11: Insidious
1: Being Human
2: American Horror Story
3: American Horror Story
4: American Horror Story
5: Real Scary Stories
5.30: Real Scary Stories
6: Poltergeist
8: Session 9
10: From Within
12: Paranormal Activity
2: Lake Mungo
----------------
Zombie Night
(Sunday, October 28th 2012)
4am: Wicked Little Things
6: The Unexplained: Zombies
7: History's Mysteries: Zombies
8: Lost Tapes s3e1 "Zombies"
8.30: Zombies: A Living History
10: Beyond Bizarre
11: Deadgirl
1: The Walking Dead
2: The Walking Dead
3: The Walking Dead
4: The Walking Dead
5: Fear Itself s1e6 "New Years Day"
6: Dawn of the Dead
8: 28 Days Later
10: Perkins' 14
12: [REC]
2: Diary of the Dead
----------------------------
Night of the Full Moon (Wolf Night)
(Monday, October 29th 2012)
4am: Blood and Chocolate
6: Freak Encounters s1e2 "Werewolf"
6.30: Lost Tapes s2e4 "Werewolf"
7: The Real Wolfman
8: MonsterQuest s1e14 "American Werewolf"
9: Werewolves: The Dark Survivors
11: Big Bad Wolf
1: Being Human
2: Teen Wolf
3: Teen Wolf
4: Teen Wolf
5: Teen Wolf
6: The Howling
8: Ginger Snaps
10: Dog Soldiers
12: Eyes in the Dark
2: Wild Country
----------------------
Devil's Night
(Tuesday, October 30th 2012)
4am: The Gate
6: Gates of Hell [History Channel]
7.30: Lost Tapes s1e14 "Hellhound"
8: Lost Tapes s2e10 "Dover Demon"
8.30: Lost Tapes s2e7 "Jersey Devil"
9: Devil Worship: The Rise of Satanism
10: A Haunting s2e4 "Where Demons Dwell"
11: Devil
1: Reaper
2: Reaper
3: Todd McFarlane's Spawn
3.30: Todd McFarlane's Spawn
4: Todd McFarlane's Spawn
4.30: Todd McFarlane's Spawn
5: Todd McFarlane's Spawn
5.30: Todd McFarlane's Spawn
6: Jacob's Ladder
8: The House of the Devil
10: Night of the Demons (2009)
12: Paranormal Activity 2
2: The Devil Inside
----------------
All Hallow's Eve
(Wednesday, October 31st 2012)
4am: Trick 'r Treat
6: Halloween (1978)
8: [REC] 3 Genesis
10: The Hole
12: Fun Size
2pm: Kill List
4: House at the End of the Street (2012)
6: Trick 'r Treat
8: Chernobyl Diaries
10: The Cabin in the Woods
12: Paranormal Activity 4
2: Trick 'r Treat
4: Intruders
6: Trick 'r Treat
Thursday, October 11, 2012
21st Century Horse (a.k. a. The ChronoHorse)
(If you're here expecting a review of the phenomenal Neil Young & Crazy Horse concert I attended two nights ago, this is not that. It took me about 6 months to rein in my thoughts regarding the last concert I blogged about, expect a similar wait for this one.)
Some will tell you that Neil doesn't cater to the audience at all with the setlists he plays, but that's a misnomer. Neil dedicates a very crucial portion of his sets to the folks in the audience who are only familiar with 5 or less of his 40+ classic albums. In the 70s when he only had a dozen albums, Neil would throw in recent tracks along with the just-released or soon-to-be-released tracks that would define the tour. But somewhere along the line, Neil's never-ending procession of classic songs overtook the scales and there wasn't really room for recent releases anymore. While it's not uncommon for wildcards to appear from any facet of Neil's career, in general even new albums that are very well received lose their slots quickly. You were unlikely to hear any Sleeps With Angels tracks on the Broken Arrow tour, and you won't be hearing any Le Noise songs on the Psychedelic Pill tour.
And hey, the system works. The setlist is cut between brand new material which is destined to please the hardcore fans, and 20 to 40-year-old classics that are destined to please pretty much everybody.
But as a hardcore Neil fan, and I mean a hard. core. Neil fan, Neil's catalog is ever so much more to me than just the new album and the vast array of fan-favorites. As a diehard, I'd be floored by hearing Roger and Out or Goin' Home as much as any dewy-eyed new fan swoons for Heart of Gold or Old Man.
So sometimes I like to fantasize that each of Neil's distinct periods was its own independent band. Each band's discography extends only from one tent pole to the next, and as a result you get to have immaculate, gorgeous setlists of all the best cuts from that period of Neil's brilliant career. Oh and every band is an incarnation of Crazy Horse, my favorite of Neil's myriad forms.
(a space represents a set break, as in an encore)
21st Century Horse
(Silver & Gold through Americana)
Approximate Time: early summer, 2012
Ideal Venue: Chevrolet Amphitheater in Pittsburgh (now defunct).
Perfect Opening Act: Taylor Swift
-------
1. High Flyin' Bird
2. Shock & Awe
3. Carmichael
4. Hitchhiker
5. Tom Dula
6. Bandit
7. Clementine
8. Goin' Home
9. Razor Love
10. Be The Rain
11. Walk With Me
12. The Restless Consumer
13. No Hidden Path
14. Travel On
^ This set would be a ferocious storm of guitar jams. To hear one set with both Goin' Home and No Hidden Path would be beyond dreamy, add in the underrated 5-star tracks off of Living With War and it's off the charts. The crisp groove of High Flyin' Bird and the wayward spunk of Travel On provide undivided perfection re: an opening and closing track, while the powerfully anthemic chorus and inevitable feedback mayhem that Crazy Horse would lend to Walk With Me makes it a delicious set-closer.
Possibly for nostalgic reasons, this music feels perfect to me for that great early summer atmosphere, where as the sun sets the air gets just the slightest chill running through it, but it's still warm enough to leave your jacket at home. An open air venue would be obligatory, and the powerhouse sounds of Taylor Swift could be a warm-up beyond compare.
Mindless Drifting
(1990s; Ragged Glory through Broken Arrow)
Approximate Time: mid-winter, 1997
Ideal Venue: The Jungle in Pittsburgh (now defunct)
Perfect Opening Act: The Breeders
------
1. Fuckin' Up
2. Peace and Love
3. Slip Away
4. Sleeps With Angels
5. Scattered
6. Scenery
7. Loose Change
8. Music Arcade
9. Driveby
10. Prime of Life
11. Big Time
12. Blue Eden
13. Change Your Mind / Dead Man (extended outro)
14. Love and Only Love
^ This setlist would be the premium, unequaled master of sonic lucidity, just pure on brain-drifting softly down the cosmic river. I didn't focus much on (the obviously brilliant) Ragged Glory because it's very well represented in Neil's real life live sets and because I wanted to maintain the crystalline ethereal mood cultivated by the trio of mid-90s electric records.
This concert would be best suited to the dead of winter, because what it is, is an utter wave of pleasurable, oozing, reverberating audio constantly washing over you for 3 hours. This isn't a summer-fun kind of sound, it's a bundle up under your winter jacket and let your mind fly away from this harsh climate kind of sound. The most amazing venue would be this short-lived venue I saw Jonny Lang at in the mid-00s. The place felt like a big abandoned warehouse, the only place we had to see was atop a myriad of pool tables all across the venue (why, I have no idea). The music just vibrated and echoed and filled out this big wide expanse and it would be the perfect medium for Neil to channel in.
...Haven't done one for the 1980s yet. The 60s and 70s would feel kind of redundant given the focus they already get but I may get around to doing them someday as well. 'Till then, happy horsing!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Halloween Scare-athons
That most wonderful of seasons is nearly upon us, the season where spirits roam among us and magic is instilled within the chilly autumn air. And I've got about a million movies I want to watch this October, but to honor and placate the great monsters that require appeasement, I have prepared two "feasts," at opposite ends of the month, in the form of all-night scary movie marathons!
Dawn of Autumn Feast
Scream 4
V/H/S
The Descent
Cabin in the Woods
Paranormal Activity 2
Campfire Tales
Feast of Samhain
Scream 2
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed
Altered
Trick 'r Treat
Let the Right One In
The Blair Witch Project
Dog Soldiers
Together all the essential horror food groups are represented: Vampires, Werewolves, Monsters, Zombies, Killers, Anthologies, Witches, Ghosts, and Aliens!
And since, due to a variety of rare circumstances, it happens that I guess I'll be alone, there is a very real chance that I will be scared literally to death. So if you never hear from me again.... the feasts weren't enough to satisfy them and I was dragged off by demons into the depths of Hell.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Delicious Halloween Nightmares, Volume One
Okay so, there's a lot of cool Halloween music out there. But a lot of it is very upbeat, party kind of music. And when I'm walking home from work in the early dawn, some eerie, haunting Halloween music would be much more fitting. So I assembled a motley crew of atmospheric tunes, including several cuts from some of my favorite creepy movies. Perfect walking mix for some scary and somber contemplation!
Delicious Halloween Nightmares, Volume One
1. Long, Long Time Ago -- Javier Navarrete [Pan's Labyrinth]
2. Meet Rhonda -- Douglas Pipes [Trick 'r Treat]
3. Ghost Song -- The Doors
4. Piano Sonata: II. Sostenuto e pesante -- Dominique Merlet [Bela Bartok]
5. Lamb Lamp Lambency -- Marco Beltrami & Buck Sanders [Don't Be Afraid of the Dark]
6. And the Birds Are About to Bust Their Guts With Singing -- Set Fire to Flames
7. Goblins in the Garage -- Marco Beltrami & Buck Sanders [Don't Be Afraid of the Dark]
8. A Tale -- Javier Navarrete [Pan's Labyrinth]
9. Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) -- Marilyn Manson [Trick 'r Treat]
10. Small Steps Against Inertia -- Set Fire to Flames
11. Bird of Prey -- The Doors
12. Sonata No. 1, Op. 22: III Adagia molto apassionata -- Enrico Pompili [Alberto Ginastera]
12. Sonata No. 1, Op. 22: III Adagia molto apassionata -- Enrico Pompili [Alberto Ginastera]
13. Rose, Dragon -- Javier Navarrete [Pan's Labyrinth]
14. Calling All Monsters -- China Anne McClaine
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Life Unexpected
After I fell head over heels for Bunheads, Amy Sherman Paladino's spectacular spiritual sequel to Gilmore Girls, and then promptly ran out of new episodes to watch... I've been searching for another family drama to swoon over. Preferrably something with that old school WB feel.
I saw Life Unexpected listed on Netflix and knew I had found my match. This was a show that aired a couple of years ago on the CW, billed as a return to classic WB aesthetic. I had only watched it absent-mindedly back then, so it was overdue for a rewatch.
The show revolves around a teenage girl named Lux, who has been shuffled through various abysmal foster homes since she was a child. On the eve of her 16th birthday she is seeking emancipation, to escape her foster life. To seek emancipation she needs her parents signatures, so she seeks out her birth parents. But when she goes up against the judge, instead of being granted emancipation, the judge puts her into the custody of her birth parents. But neither of these blokes is a very able parent, they're still trying to get their own lives together.
I'm not quite convinced it's a Bunheads or Dawson's Creek calibur show as of yet, but it's winning me over. Episode s1e7 totally impressed me, that montage of Kate alone juxtaposed against Lux feeling warm and fuzzy and accepted was truly heartbreaking. I pretty much hated Kate Cassidy until that scene really started making me feel sorry for her. I adore the glowing moments of schmaltz that the show ends most episodes with, but it was this ep that shows how good the depressing drama can be, which is an essential ying to the yang.
I was almost turned off from the show just by how truly awful these parents were in the beginning. They actually reference aborting their daughter <i>right to her freaking face</i> several times in the first few episodes and they never even act like it's a big deal. ARGH HOW EVIL ARE THESE PEOPLE. But they've been improving slowly as the series progresses. I get that it's sort of the whole premise: bumbling adult-child parents get set up with their precocious, world-weary long-lost daughter and they both have to learn to deal with each other. It's not an ideal family but it's a <i>family</i> and that's worth something, that's the point. And I can accept that, it's sort of a touching premise. Lux can handle their inadequacies, she's had worse.
The plot does carry its share of basic teen drama tropes (e.g. the preppy jock who woos the outcast girl by demontrating that he's actually a sincere, sweet guy; the adult-child parents being kept in line by their precocious offspring) but the adoption angle makes it genuinely unique and I find the characters interesting and their struggles, while not excruciatingly unique, seem real and relatable. And I have to admit, I ship Lux with the jock. Ever since she told him that story about the necklace and so he brought her a necklace, that was too adorable!
Anyhoo, it's a quality show, I reccomend it for anyone with a love of sentimental dramas or the old WB.
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