Nick Versus Disney

Been watching "Hannah Montana Forever" on Youtube all day. I was crazy about this show... riiiight up until I discovered iCarly. And yeah, it's still fuckin' l33t.

I never realized until very recently just how much a connoisseur of kid's television I am. I mean, fuck it, I'm pretty familiar with this shit. I despised Nickelodeon and Disney when I was a kid, but I still watched them 24/7... 'cause it was better than Cartoon Network. And what else was there for me to watch? So I grinned and bore most of the shows that now constitute my generation's favored nostalgia. *shrug* Buncha kooks if you ask me, that shit was decent at best.

As a youth I was fond of sitting in a pitch black room watching Noir... I was obsessed with being grim, because my life WAS grim. And it was a beautiful synergy, just what I needed. But like Neil Young going from 60 to zero, the older I got, the more I was able to relax, and the more I appreciated the kids stuff. Quite obviously... this trend has yet to ebb!

NICK v DISNEY

Overall I'd say Nick brings a much higher level to the game than Disney. Disney's programming frequently relies on slapstick comedy and ultra-typical sitcom fare. Nickelodeon, on the other hand, seems to craft a unique identity for itself and employ genuine absurdist humor that rarely seems too childish or contrived. Comparing Nick to Disney is a lot like comparing Seinfeld to Two and a Half Men, or Futurama to Ugly Americans. I wouldn't mind watching any of those shows, but the vast distinction in quality and craft between them is obvious.

Nickelodeon wins the battle hands down just by its three greatest shows, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Victorious, and iCarly, each of which being some of the finest television I've yet had the pleasure of viewing. However, beyond that, I would definitely say that Disney & Nick are about even. They both have a few watchable cartoons (though nothing to write home a bout), and a handful of decent teen sitcoms.

I might put 90s Disney above 90s Nick. Nick had some decent shows like The Secret World of Alex Mack and Clarissa Explains It All. But at this point, Disney was in a more "adult" mindset, with live action shows featuring cute girls and serious plots. While researching for this post, I reviewed some of my old favorites, and... In an otherwise uninteresting episode of Disney's The Famous Jet Jackson, I stumbled upon this interchange:

Person 1: I was just thinking... you guys ever think about your life as you live it? I was listening to my parents talk the other night. They were remembering what it was like to be our age, all the fun they had, all the things they did. They were talking about it in a way that made me think they hadn't really appreciated it while they were having it.

Person 2: I know what you mean. What if we're all having these amazing lives, and we don't really realize until we look back on it when we're old, like our parents?

Maybe it's not Socrates (or maybe it is). But I'm afraid it may (or may not) touch on how or why I'm a 22 year old man who as of late has spent most of his time watching TV shows aimed at 13 year olds. Youth is a LOT more beautiful in hindsight than it'll ever be the first time around. And as much as older people want to tell you how great it is -- it'll never work. Not because kids are stubborn, but because we need all that life experience between then and now before this shit starts to seem poetic.

Now, in the 2000s, both stations stepped up their game. Disney had a lot of shows I dig such as Phil of the Future, Lizzie McGuire, The Jersey, Life With Derek (acquired programming), and Hannah Montana. Nick, in addition to its almighty triumverate, had great fare with Unfabulous, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, and Zoey 101.

Nick wins, but... why choose? You can have 'em both.