Unsealed: Alien Files

It's not often that you have television shows which debut new episodes at 2 in the morning. This is a show that's flanked on both ends by infomercials for chrissakes. But the peculiar schedule makes it all the more exotic and alluring. It's totally legit.

One night I fell asleep watching South Park and woke up watching Unsealed: Alien Files. For a moment I thought I had traveled back in time, to the late 90s or the early 00s, back when paranormal shows were creepy as fuck and stylish like the original chupacabra (the gargoyle, glowing eyed beast, not the neutered stray dog "chupacabra" that inhabits North America, what a crock.)

If not for the fact that Unsealed promotes their Twitter account in every episode, I would have actually thought this was an old show being re-aired. It perfectly emulates the tropes of classic paranormal shows like Sightings, Beyond Bizarre, and the broadcast version of Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County. Even the content they discuss is so 1990s... Human cloning, Area 51, Bigfoot conspiracies...

Is it a cheesy, hokey show? YES. It's not factually accurate in the least, it extrapolates completely unbelievable theories which make even Ancient Aliens seem well-researched in comparison. And they re-use the same clips over and over again, each episode. And yet.... IT FUCKIN' WORKS. The sense of the theatrical, the willingness to be bizarre and creepy, the horror movie style, that's what made those old shows great, and Unsealed has it in droves. It's almost like found footage, it's obviously not truly real, but it's a really creepy story to imagine! They have these two stock clips of "the greys" that they use over and over again.... and they're ALWAYS fucking scary, no matter how many times I see them.

Sure, modern shows like Ancient Aliens have preposterous theories with absolutely no evidence behind them, like the classic shows did. But in the 90s we took it a step further than that. Or maybe ten steps. In the 90s people like Bob Lazar contended that Area 51 had something like 7 different alien species working there at the very time, while channels like FOX and UPN aired footage told us and pointe blanke it was of actual, real-life alien autopsies and abductions! And that's the kind of topic Unsealed traffics in.

The problem with all of the paranormal shows these days is, they err on the side us pseudo-science. They pretend to be unbiased and scientific, despite their obvious and enormous flaws, to the detriment of the theatricality and style of the production. Perhaps some people find it creepier when it's packaged with a less ridiculous sheen, but I'm not fooled, I'm not going to buy into it either way. What works for me is something creepy, like a movie, the way it was done in the 90s.

Unsealed is a true old school show. I'm in awe of randomly finding a show like this. It's been so long since I've seen a single one, I didn't think it was possible. I thought it meant I had grown up when alien shows stopped scaring me. Now I realize, it's just because alien shows lost their balls and stopped being scary. The scary ones, well... well they're still scary! O_O

Swift Premonitions

Swift Premonitions

In 2011 I was fortunate enough to see Taylor Swift rock Heinz Field and it was, for a myriad of reasons, one of the most magical nights of my life. Getting to see, for the first time, one of my all-time favorite artists at the undisputable peak of her powers performing a setlist of almost nothing but amazing newly released material was like a religious experience for such a big music geek as me.

This summer of 2013 I am thrilled, humbled, and gracious about the prospect of seeing Taylor's Red Tour. She has another new album out so this will definitely be a spectacular show. And perhaps most of all, I'm curious about what setlist she'll have for this tour.

Similar to my quirk about television programming direction, I have an equally deep abiding love of concert setlist ideology. Setlists have personality, setlists make statements. A setlist of all new material suggests confidence; a setlist of number one hits demonstrates prowess; a setlist of deep cuts implies intimacy. There are nuances between the setlists of different genres, different eras, different moods. It goes without saying that the songs an artist includes is one of the primary factors in whether the audience enjoys the show: riots can literally break out if a star doesn't play their biggest hit. But even the order the songs are played in plays a strong role. Most setlists strike a back and forth between ebbs and flows (alternating between hits and deep cuts, fast songs and ballads) to keep the audience's interest.

When it comes to Taylor's upcoming Red Tour, the setlist for the Speak Now tour gives us a pretty good blueprint. On the 2011 tour she performed 17 songs, 12 of which were from her latest album, Speak Now. The difference is now, she has a whole new album to play, adding 16 new potential tracks to the pool. And judging from last time, she'll try to fit as many of Red's tracks in as she can (which is exactly what I hope!).

Obligatory Hits:
Fifteen
Love Story
You Belong With Me
Back to December
Mine

Of the five old songs she performed in 2011, at least 3 of those are absolutely obligatory. You can count on the three mega-hits from Fearless being represented. However I'm going to guess that the not-as-popular title-track will not be carried over form last tour this time. The other old song she played was Our Song, from her self-titled album. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that because there's so much to fit in this year, Taylor will not perform anything from self-titled on the Red tour. If something does slip through, I hope it's Teardrops on My Guitar. But another iteration of Our Song would be welcome (and possibly the most likely choice).

Then what we have are the newly obligatory songs from Speak Now. I think it's safe to assume that they will condense Speak Now down to its essential hits like they did for Fearless. But it's difficult to say for sure where the cutoff line is. Mine and Back to December are pretty much sure things, but Mean and Ours may or may not be included.

Now we get to Red. Based on my speculation so far we have 5 to 8 tracks on the setlist, leaving approximately 9 to 12 potential Red tracks.

Bankable Red Picks:
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
I Knew You Were Trouble
Begin Again
Everything Has Changed (Ed Sheeran is her opening act)

The whole rest of the album is genuinely possible after that, although 22 would probably be the best contender and I think Red and State of Grace also have a very good shot. Personally speaking I hope we hear All Too Well but I think for a ballad we'd be more likely to get Sad Beautiful Tragic or Treacherous. I'd really like to hear just about anything from the album so my hope is we'll get a solid 12 tracks or darn near it.

Wild Cards: In addition to Red, Taylor's had other recent hits including deluxe edition tracks from Speak Now, some of which have become hits, and soundtrack songs such as those for The Hunger Games like Safe & Sound. Songs like this could always make an appearance  especially the hit Ours (mentioned previously). On the Speak Now Tour, Taylor also frequently covered regionally-relevant tracks based on whatever state she was performing in. This or something similar could be repeated.

As far as the ordering of the setlist, I couldn't venture to guess. But if I were to throw some ideas out there, Red would make a perfect opener. I'd have to suggest a combo Fearless-Speak Now encore so possibly Back to December followed by Love Story. And if I could have one wish, I want the set closer to be either Holy Ground or Starlight, as they make perfect closers with that same sense of immediate wonder as Long Live has from last time.

All I can say is, can't wait!